Moon Woman

She asked me if I cycled with the moon, and I thought Soon. Julianne Victoria and I were talking over FaceTime as she interpreted my Vedic birth chart which was filled with this source of divine feminine energy. In a few days I would be turing 41, and as a birthday present to myself I was having my IUD removed. Julianne’s reading was also a gift. I had won her contest for a free reading after guessing her age. The number had come to me instantly, as through channeled from a higher realm. It was meant to be.

Harvest Moon Emerging from Clouds

Harvest Moon Emerging from Clouds

I still remember the day when my mother put me on the pill. I was 18, and dating the young man I would one day marry. She came into the living room where I was reading, holding a paper bag filled with condoms in her hand. Days later, I went to the local family planning clinic for my first gynecological exam and came home with a compact that held a plastic coated clock of birth control bills. I popped those tiny drops of hormones religiously, everyday, following the hands of the clock, until my husband and I decided to start a family when I was 29.

Moon Speck at Sunset

Moon Speck at Sunset

After “trying” for 3 or 4 months, I became pregnant with my daughter, whose face appeared to me like a full radiant moon inside my dreams one night. I felt wholly complete as my moon child grew within me. Ours was a fierce hold, so strong it took the hands of forceps to rip us apart. I like to think, though, if I had listened to my body and my daughter instead of fighting the push to be free under the urgings of the doctor, her birth would have been a different story.

Moon Daughter

Moon Daughter

Instead of going back on the pill after my daughter’s birth, I got fitted for a diaphragm. A rather messy, unpleasant alternative to controlling the probability of birth, in my opinion, but we knew we wanted a second child within a few years. Our son took root in my womb sooner than planned. He was an anniversary baby, and we had forgone the use of the pesky diaphragm for the occasion. Some might say he was an “oops,” and I’ll admit I cried when I realized I was pregnant. I wanted him, just not so soon.

Moon Son

Moon Son

My son’s life was an easy gift. There were no months of “trying” to conceive, and no weeks of morning sickness like I had experienced with first pregnancy. Even his birth was easy. 45 minutes after we arrived at the hospital, he almost slid out of my body. It was only after his birth, that I began holding him tight. My little man from the moon.

The Moon and her Shadow

The Moon and her Shadow

Now, nearly 11 years after the birth of my daughter and 9 1/2 years after the birth of my son, I am experiencing another birth. The IUDs that I had willingly inserted into my body to curb the growth of a birth for 9.5 years have been removed, permanently. I will not return to the cycle of an artificial tide. Mine is a birth back to self. Back to the energy of the moon, and the rise and fall of the life-blood of her. As by body bleeds free, I feel whole. I feel complete. I have returned to my mother Moon.

Full, unimpeded Moon

Full, unimpeded Moon

 

 

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Spider, the Keeper of Words

The spider is one of my animal spirit totems. Often a guide for writers, the spider teaches us the mysteries of language, helping us find the voice we hold inside. Here is what spider had to say:

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Keeper of Words

I weave the memory
of words

Old soul
talk to me about

Silence

I wrap silk to hold
life. Bleed the tangled

Walk my labyrinth
back to the center

Step gently, remember
sound is vibration

Feel words held
like a mummy wrap

Release the ancient
mystery of your language

Awaken

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The Robin’s Courageous Heart

Continuing with bird messengers, today’s poem is about Robin, whose orange breast is often referred to as “red.” Robin is a confident, courageous bird whose presence heralds spring and the endless cycle of rebirth.

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Courageous Heart

I wear red like a badge
of courage

through rebirth’s
endless unfolding

bringing raw creation
from Earth to offer

blue orbs of truth
waiting to break

into voice. I sing
the cycle of self

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The Chickadee – Singer of Truth

The chickadee is a bold, yet social bird who wears the colors of contrasts in white and black. The chickadee sings its name without fear and shows us the way to our Truth.
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Singer of Truth

I sing my name
happy, into sky

echoing the heart-
beat of Mother Earth

my dense body is small
my soul, infinite

I am black beside
white, magic

birthed into light

follow my path
to your Truth

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Winged Joy

I am writing animal/nature spirit poems, and will be posting them here for now. We’ll begin with Humming Bird, who brings the energy of infinite joy to Earth.

Winged Joy
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She wears the green
crest of heart

sips joy into
fear’s red body

a single kiss awakens
the memory of truth

spreading love’s infinity
in winged joy

she lives a body
of light encased

in weightless
hope

reflects bliss
in the gold shimmer

of Divine

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What came to me this morning

I want to write about 

hope 

joy

and love 

I want to write about 

pain that sears  

flesh into charred 

cells that remember ashes 

You can cling to fear 

but I walk the path of healing 

Mine is a truth of self 

and absolution 

You ask me to remember stories 

that are not mine 

We women wear 

them in our throats 

tight knots that choke voice

We have forgotten Isis

pulling the red chord of our wombs

We have forgotten feathers

folded against our hearts

Women, spread wide your red

lips

sing

laugh

rage

birth

This sacred ground is yours

to recover

Bare the Rainbow of Truth

in a circle

of raw threads

stripped of

hate

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A Vulture Visits My Home

It flew out of the west, passing like a shadow over the tops of the pines beside my house. The pathway to the moon and the magic inside darkness, the west is the direction of dreams and inner journeys.  It returned hours later, or perhaps it never left, again orbiting the western sky low, as though searching.

The rush of pleasure I experienced when the vast, dark body of the vulture passed over dissipated as the day wore on and my mind turned to thoughts of death.  The poem in my inbox this morning spoke a beautiful tribute to a slain journalist, a blog shared on Facebook, the tragic drowning of a young boy. My thoughts circled from death to my Daisy who refused to eat her breakfast and then lunch (she never misses a meal).

Later in the afternoon when the vulture flew over, I began to wonder if it smelled impending death nearby. It’s funny how the mind wanders to the macabre before it needs to. Why was I dwelling on darkness, instead of the light? I thought of my dreams over the past several nights, so vivid in their detailed depictions of the archetypes of my fears, all being brought out of the shadows for me to give them light.

This is, in essence, what the vulture teaches, to go within and clean up the debris that causes dis-ease inside of us. When we are willing to travel into the inner realms of the self and walk through the shadows, we can harness the energy of the vulture and its power of survival and healing. Through this purification, we can experience a rebirth. The death of the old, gives way to new life.

I was quite sure I had a photograph of a vulture in flight, but it has chosen to elude me for this post. Instead, the hummingbird returned as I searched through my photos, as it has so often this summer, happy to show me that even when we’re mired in the muck of life, there is always the energy of joy and light waiting to be found and seen.

harbinger of joy

Today’s Harbinger of Joy

The hummingbird draws nectar to sustain life, favoring the reds of nature in bloom. The turkey vulture’s featherless head is also red, evoking the energy of the base chakra, where we hold our most primal fears. When we master the mysteries of our fears, we learn the path to our Truth. Ted Williams notes in his book Animal Speak that the Egyptian goddess of Truth, Maat, is often depicted with a vulture feather.

Even though the vulture preys on the carcasses of life, it uses the purifying energy of the sun to cleanse its head and body from the remnants of decay, teaching us about balance and the cyclical nature of death and life, darkness and light.

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